Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
