p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
