He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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