hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
