He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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