i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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