I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
