I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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