And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
