Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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