i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
