You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize