i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
