whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
