HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Randomize