he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
