i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
FUCK WHALES
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize