so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
