Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize