Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
