hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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