I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
