I'll bet she douches with gravy.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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