people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
