would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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