did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
