check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Oh god it's open bar.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
