My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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