Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
