i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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