I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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