I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
