im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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