All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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