is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize