they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
