I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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