well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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