the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
