Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize