Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
