why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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