You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
