please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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