he puts the penis in happiness.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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