Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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