dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
