what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
