I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize