Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
