my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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