Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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