I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
