It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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