I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
