Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
