tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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